This Is Africa

I went to Africa on a Missions trip in 2008. It was an amazing experience that opened my eyes to a different world. I wish the feeling could have lasted forever. I still hold Africa in my heart, but it was only a matter of time before western culture infected me and my consumerism nature overthrew all I had learned. I think of Africa as if it’s a distant dream. I remember the faces as if they were angels. I hold them close within, deep in a part of my being that will never be tainted. It is difficult living here to distance myself from the ways of life, the cars, the money, the greed. But sometimes, when the sun is shining through my blinds, and I haven’t quite woken and I am not yet a part of this world, I think to myself, T.I.A This is Africa...and I am thankful in those moments to know, Africa, somehow, will never leave me. Lisa, I will never forget your beauty. Below is my first journal entry:

3:00 pm, Sunday.
I woke up for a moment and forgot where I was. When I realized that it was African sun shining through the window, energy surged through me and I instantly kicked off the covers. Everyone was awake at 6:45am, easily, because our bodies felt like it was 9:45 at night. For breakfast we had oatmeal, which we had to add sugar to. Their sugar is larger and has a more natural sweetness to it. We arrived at the Grace Academy with time to walk around and see the children. I met this little girl Susan and instantly loved her personality. She danced and sang for us, and introduced us to her friends. The church service was unlike anything I have ever attended. They sang songs, using only clapping and a single drum as an instrument, yet the power in the room was unbelievable. They prayed with such passion and devotion, yelling “praise Jesus!” and “Hallelujah!” I was incredibly moved by their voices, and couldn’t help but cry when I looked out the window towards the flat lands and let their songs remind me of the beauty in the world, the power of people coming together...I felt so blessed in that moment to be a young adult so capable of adventure. The music, the dancing, the clapping and worship filled the room with such an amazing intensity, I felt a comfort in the overwhelming feeling of appreciation. Susan, before I got to know her, was the young girl standing beside me singing along with the choir. Her voice broke through a layer of my heart and I closed my eyes to focus on it. When I opened the, my head was tilted towards the ceiling and I was humming to the tune. The pastor invited us to stand, the room welcomed us by chanting “love, peace and joy!” I did not feel for a single moment that I did not belong there. We are all of the beloved one. After the church service my hands went directly to my chest, I hadn’t realized how quickly my heart had been beating. I left the church and stepped outside where the sun embraced me, reminding me where I was. I put my hand against the wall to steady myself and for a moment. I stood with one hand on the wall and the other over my heart. It was beating so magnificently fast, this place is so beautiful, so full of joy, and I felt completely whole, not wanting to be anywhere else. Tears streamed down my face but no sound came out because I felt no pain. My heart was not crying out of sorrow, rather releasing all my amazement through wet banners decorating my skin, tears! Tears! Tears! Amazing, perfect tears! I didn’t want them to stop...I wanted to feel this much power all the time. These are the things that opened my eyes. These are the things that I need to take back to the people and give them this love. I didn’t realize there was love like this, and how important it is. It doesn’t matter who or why, just love...love unconditionally...without limits...there shouldn’t be any rules...love who you want to love and love who you don’t. Just love.

Funny Bunny

It was the year 2007 and I desperately needed some cash to feed my shopping addiction. My dad worked at Willowbrook mall at the time and told me he could get me a job that would pay me $250 for one day of work.

UH HELLO!

I would be crazy to turn that job down, whatever it was...and it was sitting in a big ass oversized fluffy chair in a 100lb furry costume with giant ears while screaming children sit on my lap and get their picture taken... I was the Easter Bunny. This is how the story goes:

I met in the back offices in the morning to try on my costume. It weighed a ton, I could barely breathe and it was itchy. Of course this was not going to be a pleasant experience but I had dollar signs in mind so I decided to push through it. I walked out into the mall area and instantly children were running up to me screaming, wanting me to touch them, them wanting to touch me, push me, pet me. Then...there it was...the giant chair I would sit in for 7 hours, six feet tall, six feet wide, I couldn’t even lean against an arm rest. The day began and hundreds of children sat on my lap, some crying, some poking, wiggly bony butts on my knees all day. Behind the giant smiling face of the bunny, I was dying. I became increasingly dehydrated and sweaty in the costume, the ventilation was horrible, and the worst part was I couldn’t tell anyone because bunnies cant fucking talk. I was going to snap in my mute and sticky situation. At one point I did pass out. If if anyone ever asks if I have passed out before I always say no-because this is ridiculous. It must have been the 200^th wiggly child of the afternoon and I felt everything turning black. It only lasted a couple seconds but the next thing I knew the photographer was whispering into the mesh of my bunny eyes, “are you okay in there, you just fell over!” Thank god this was my only moment o cry for help, “I need a break, and water!” I said back. “Your shift is done in 20 minutes, then you can have water.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

20 minutes later when they roped off the area and the children whined and dispersed I was so excited to be done I hopped off that seat (yes, I hopped ) and without thinking, right there in the middle of the mall, I....I... took off the giant bunny head.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

All hell broke loose. Children pointed and screamed.

“The easter bunny doesn’t exist!”

“Why is that sweaty albino dressed as the easter bunny!”

Parents covered their childrens eyes. Dreams shattered. Hearts broke. I got fired. I didn’t care.

The overwhelming exhilaration from inhaling fresh air not blocked by metal mesh, my head weighing a normal weight, the mall air drying the sweat from my brow. I was free. I was human.

I took that $250 paycheque and by god did I buy those clothes, no fur though, I think I’m done with that.